what's my sickness?

i'm sick. i don't really know what's wrong but i know i'm sick. what could be wrong with me? all i can do is wait. i'm agitated. i'm afraid to know yet i really want to know. i'm afraid of all the possible things that could be wrong. i'm afraid that the doctor might say i'm so so so so sick. i'm not feeling ill but this thing that's happening to me is really abnormal. i've never experienced this before. i have always been proud of myself because the last time i could remember i was ever really sick was when i had UTI and that was like 16 or so years ago. so now that i am sick, i'm nervous. i don't really know what to feel. sometimes i'm agitated. sometimes i worry. sometimes i act as if nothing is wrong.

i'm so afraid that the doctor would say i have some fatal disease or some rare disease that doesn't have any cure just yet. =( i'm so afraid.