ill at ease

i am ill at ease. i feel like there's something amiss in our relationship. something has changed. it's not the lack of time. no, i don't think that's it. it seems as though he's tired of the situation. could he be? how would i know? unless he tells me so, i'd be in the dark about it.

most of the time, i feel so loved. but then, there are times when i feel so down and depressed. i feel like nobody, not even him, loves or cares for me and how i feel. *sigh*

i know he says he loves me and he shows me that. but there's really something missing. i don't know what it is exactly. he may be holding out. i wouldn't really know. i don't know what to feel exactly. all i know, is that when that piece of the puzzle shows itself to me, that'll be the time that i'd feel at ease.

it hasn't come just yet. that piece of the puzzle that i'm looking for. i don't know when it'll be coming my way. i do want to have that piece placed in the puzzle. then i'd be complete. i'd feel as happy as any human being could possibly be. i'd feel contented. i guess i'd be satisfied.