love...

love...

in my childhood days, i always thought love was easy. that it was something that requires no work. how childlike of me. how naive i had been.

so now that i am in love, i realized how i wrong i was. i didn't know it was going to require me to "work" for it to work. so i always end up not doing the things that i'm supposed to do. i'm bad that way. i guess i don't know how to make a relationship work.

this time around, i want to make it work. i love the man. i want him to be "the one". but for the life of me, i can't imagine why i never deleted those mails. i never wanted him to read that. i'm so guilty because i know it hurt him. i don't want to hurt the man i love.

now that he's read the email, i don't know how i could erase it from his memory. it's hard. he's got such an amazing memory. something i haven't got. he remembers most everything. so how can i erase that memory? by making more memories? maybe..

to my dear miguel:

i'm sorry for my shortcomings. i'm sorry that you read that mail. i'm sorry that that thought is running through your mind right now. i'm sorry for hurting you. i never intended to hurt you. i love you and i want to make it up to you. however hard it may be, i'll try to find a way to make it up to you. i don't know how. i don't know when. but i hope that when i do, it's not too late.

i love you miguel..always remember that.