demoralization

i hate the way you talk about me. well, not exactly me, but people like me. people who go to the same school as i am. i don't know what's wrong with you. but whatever it is, it has caused other people to suffer all your rude comments. they may be a joke to you but they don't seem that way to us.

you underestimate us. you think we can't do all those things that you do. uh..no..that's not it. you think we can't do even the basic stuff. well, f*ck you!

yeah. yeah. you're an expert. go ahead and brag about it. we do ask you about stuff. that's what juniors usually do. or are you not aware of that? i wish there'd be a time when i can show you i can do complicated stuff without asking for your help.

ugh! i hate you!!!

so...empty...

have you ever felt like some piece of you is missing? i feel that way. why did i break up with him again? oh yeah..right. it was supposedly the right thing.

*sigh*

i can't help but miss him. i really do love him. and it hurts so much to know that i've hurt him. hurt him bad. i know i can't get things back to the way they were. i know that. but why do i feel this way? why does it have to hurt so bad?

every night, i cry. i cry because i know it's really not meant to be. i cry for everything that i have wished for...for the dreams that have been shattered.

my heart aches for him to give me some sign that he loves me. there's not a minute that he doesn't fill my mind. why? why does it have to be this way? i feel so hollow...so empty.

the right thing

i did it. i finally did it.

after months of thinking, i finally did it. i did the right thing this time. i let go. it hurts but it's the right thing. i won't be messing up his life any more. he'll be free of me. he can go about his life not feeling guilty about having me in his life.

why does the right thing hurt? *sigh* i had to do it.

it hurts to know that he hates me now. but i don't know of any other way to have done it. i would have wanted us to be friends. but you can't have everything, right?

to you, you know who you are:
i'm sorry for everything. i hope in time you'll forgive me. i'm letting go not because of what we had fought about. i'm letting go because it's the right thing. i know, i know. you'll say why i didn't agree with you the last time. i am selfish. i know that. i really am sorry it had to end this way. you hating me was never on my mind. me hurting you was never intended. yes, i had to do what i had to do. you know how i talked to you about moving out right? i want you to start a new life. i hope that in that new life, you'd be happy. and i do love you. more than you think.

bogus bug

i just hate how people say there's something wrong when there really was nothing wrong. then they act as if it's all my fault. getting annoyed, eh? i, too, am annoyed at you! stupid. you didn't even check it. you should've made sure that there's supposed to be something there. there really wasn't anything that was supposed to be there. nothing! stupid. i would've appreciated it if it were some real mistake i did. but it wasn't. goodness! i am so annoyed at you and you and you!

huh! you think you can just make people feel that way because you're so good already? is that so? well, i don't think so.