up and down the rollercoaster

most of the time i feel happy. happy because he makes me happy. happy because i'm spending my time with him. but then again, there really are times when i feel so down. and i cry because of him. not that it's his fault. i cry because i can't be with him. i cry because i'm frustrated that i can't be with him. i knew from the start that we'd be far apart but still i continued this relationship for the simple fact that i love him. but this long distance thing is really hard. it's pulling me down. making me sad. i can't be totally happy because i can't be with him. so no matter how much we love each other, we always end up fighting. not his fault, mine.

yeah yeah yeah..i know i keep complaining..maybe i just don't know how to handle such a relationship. maybe it's the fact that i can't accept that we can't be together. maybe it's because i expect too much and so i get disappointed a lot. and maybe..it's because i am so idealistic..because as my friends would say, i am a perfectionist(?). am i? could these things be the reason behind all these arguments? maybe they are. i really don't know. enlighten me.