out of this world

these last few months, i've had an aunt and uncle struggling to fight cancer and my grandmother also had a stroke..what luck huh?! well, what i knew was that they're still trying to fight. guess what now? i guess i wasn't really well informed about the family events or something. my aunt died. my uncle is on life support. but my grandmother is still doing ok.

now, when did this all happen? i can't answer such a question. not because i don't want to answer that. but because i honestly DO NOT KNOW!! so how did i know the updates on their lives? just because i happened to wake up early and caught my sister in the room. she knew about these things. i didn't.

i feel so bad for not knowing such things. i mean, i should've known and i should've comforted my other relatives who are with them day and night. but i couldn't comfort them because i didn't know. i never knew such things already happened.

i'm feeling so bad right now. i've been so caught up in my own world that i never even bothered to ask them how they were doing. how bad can i be? i never realized that i was being so selfish...so uncaring.

huhuhuhu..i want to cry..i'm so sad.

TO MY FAMILY:
i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being so selfish. i'm sorry for not knowing that you needed me to comfort you. i'm sorry for not asking how you were or taking the time to say hello. i know i've been caught up in my own world for so long. i've been out of touch. i'm sorry. i know my sorry won't help you in any way. but still i want to say it. i need for you to know that i really am sorry. i'm sorry that you're suffering now. i'm sorry that i cannot help you. because no matter how sorry i am, i know you'll still feel the pain. but still . . . . . I TRULY AM SORRY.